song lyrics
You Need An Analyst lyrics

+You Need An Analyst
If you re always stealing goodies from a big department store,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
If your pocket s full of little things you never owned before,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
If somebody says "Good morning," and politely tips his hat,
And you frown and say, "I wonder what he really meant by that,
If you re walking down the sidewalk and you won t step on a crack,
You re afraid if you step on a crack, you ll break your mother s back,
If you re at the Philharmonic and you start to do the twist,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
(You need an analyst, you need an analyst,
We really must insist that you see an analyst.)
If you re freezing or you re sweating from imaginary ills,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
If it takes an IBM machine to classify your pills,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
If you tiptoe into bed and you re as quiet as a mouse,
But the bed you tiptoe into is in someone else s house,
If you have a brand new raincoat, and of it you re very fond,
In fact, you d rather be alone with it than with a blonde,
If you wear your wristwatch on your feet and stockings on your wrist,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
(You need an analyst, you need an analyst,
We really must insist that you see an analyst.)
If you re always tearing paper into teeny weeny bits,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
If you ve got a secret closet full of pomegranate pits,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
If they ask you what your name is and you answer Bonaparte,
If you dig those daffy doodles that are known as modern art,
If you re walking down the street and then you stop to tie your shoes,
And you tie them to each other as you hum Saint Louis Blues,
Or if you re forty-six years old and never have been kissed,
Go kiss an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
(Go kiss an analyst, go kiss an analyst,
We really must insist that you kiss an analyst.)
If you re always having arguments when no one else is there,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
And whenever you are angry, if you kick your teddy bear,
You need an analyst, a psychoanalyst.
If you dream you ve got a purple dragon next to you in bed,
And you wake up and your dragon isn t purple, it is red,
If you eat those little prizes, and you save the Crackerjacks,
If you really think they re ever gonna cut the income tax,
You need an analyst,
(You need) I need (he needs) we need
Everybody needs an analyst.
song lyrics